My friend Tracy kindly gave me a periodical that she thought I would enjoy, all about environmentalism and education, right up my alley. Thank you, very kind. In it, we discovered a wonderful article about all the times during our busy hectic days that we could be recognizing ways to practice compassion, a yoga mindset…a Zen attitude. Great article, good ideas…again, thank you. Wait…what is this number four? Finding Compassion on the Road? Hold on a second…did I read this right?
5 Yoga Practices For Mind-Body Balance, BY DAVID SIMON, M.D.,
4. Finding Compassion on the Road
Driving is an excellent laboratory for self-awareness – and an ideal place to cultivate equanimity and calm. Before you start the car, give your body a good stretch to each side and set your intention for a peaceful, safe journey. As you drive, relax your grip on the wheel. Keep your tongue at fire point (the spot on the roof of your mouth just between your two upper front teeth) to keep your jaw relaxed.
Be aware of situations that cause you to become frustrated, such as slow traffic or someone cutting you off. When these situations arise, see if you can focus your attention on your breath and put your awareness in your heart, letting go of the story you’re telling yourself about “the jerk” in the other car. Advanced yogis can practice feeling compassion for the other drivers as well. You can silently repeat, “Just like me, they want to feel happy, peaceful, and loved.”
“Cultivate equanimity and calm”? In my car driving in Tucson? Okay, easily enough I can “be aware of the situations that cause” me “to become frustrated”. Sure, no problem…do it everyday. It’s the part between there and practicing feeling compassion for the other drivers, where I get a little hung up. I’ve read some frightening statistics lately about how over sixty percent of the licensed drivers on the road today would not pass a driving test, not to mention all the unlicensed drivers. Add to that the fact that a high percentage of Tucson’s driving population are transplants who learned to drive in other states with other traffic laws. States like Denial, Oblivion, Stupidity and my personal favorite the State of I’m-The-Only-Person-Who-Exists-In-The-Universe. I am as eager as the next person to start increasing my positive attitude and decreasing my stress levels. Alright, I’m game…let’s go Yoga Zen Driving in Tucson!!!When I moved to Tucson eighteen years ago my brother was driving me from the airport to his house and I commented, “These roads are amazing, wide and flat. The views are awesome. You must ride your motorcycle all the time!!” He replied that he paid way too much money for Medical School to end up splattered on the street and that he had sold his motorcycle. I said that he had to be kidding, why would he do such a thing? He simply said, “You’ll see.” See I did. During my first week driving in Tucson I watched a woman who was trying to make a left turn, but instead drove up onto the median and hit a sign post then backed up off the median so she could DRIVE UP ONTO THE MEDIAN AND HIT THE SIGN POST AGAIN!!! When I shared this story with others they were neither stunned nor surprised. As a driver in Tucson I have witnessed someone do a u-turn on Kolb (a divided street) to then be driving the wrong way toward the traffic that was following him a moment ago sending three lanes of vehicles up onto the medians. I have seen someone run a red light and then back up through that red light the wrong way. I watched someone slam on their brakes so hard they turned their car sideways across three lanes of traffic on Oracle and then got out of their car and left it there. So, before I even get in my car for my first day of Yoga Zen Driving, I acknowledge these memory thoughts and dismiss them from my new intentionally peaceful driving experience. Aaaahhh. Clean slate, new day, new attitude and some Kate Wolf for the CD player.
Day One wasn’t really going to be that challenging. I had to drop my son off at school, stop by the hardware store on my way home and a few hours later, pick my son up at school. Everything inside a tidy little 2 mile radius. School drop off, flawless, my son’s school is very small, the other parent and grandparent drivers are very careful and aware of each other and the kids…so far, so good. Now to the Ace Hardware in the Campbell and Glenn shopping plaza. I’m not in a hurry and I am a Yoga Zen Driver so I take a route slightly off the busier streets and arrive in virtually the same amount of time the more hectic streets might have delivered me. I pull into one of the available angled parking spaces and am immediately screamed at by the driver in the space in front of me. He was so angry and so hostile that at first I thought he was yelling at someone on a phone device that I couldn’t see. Then he got out of his car and started pointing at me and screaming even louder. He apparently had wanted not to park, but to pull through the space I had parked in and then drive the wrong way down the aisle. Oh, and he felt this was a reasonable response to his not being able to do that. How do I feel? Compassionate? Do I think “just like me he wants to feel happy, peaceful and loved”? No. I do not. I feel threatened and pissed off. Damn it!! Day One…fail.
Day Two I almost got hit head on taking my son to school by a driver who was driving the wrong way on a one way street AND ran a stop sign. Five cars were honking and pointing at this driver and he flipped them all off and tried to drive straight into me anyway. His final words to us all were, “Turn the F#%K around!!” At this particular adrenaline riddled moment having narrowly evaded catastrophe because my tiny car fits in the bike lane (and a little up on the curb) what I am feeling? …Thankful beyond all ability to measure that my son is safe and that no one was occupying the bike lane. Compassion? Awareness in my heart? Nope! Nope! Thankful for our wholeness is as good as I can get. That guy? I would kind of like to punch that guy. Day Two…fail.
Day Three, third time is a charm, right? Day three is a lot like those driver’s education movies you had to watch in high school. Football bounces out into the street…I stop carefully and look…sure enough, kid runs into the street to get it. I smile and wave at him…I am a Yoga Zen Driver. Schools bus stops in front of me and puts out its stop sign and I stop a generous distance behind it to patiently wait. The car behind me honks at me and starts to pull around me and I roll down my window and put my hand out in the palm back and down stop position…it works!! He stops and gives me a little “oops, sorry” wave!! I AM a Yoga Zen Driver. A motorcyclist is signaling to get into my lane, but the car in front of me doesn’t see him and nearly cuts him off. I slow down and gesture for him to get safely in front of me. He does and gives a thank you wave. I AM A YOGA ZEN DRIVER!!! Aaah. Success. Wait, what we are being detoured? Wait, why? What happened? Traffic didn’t stop for a siren wailing ambulance and the resulting collision has closed the intersection. Who doesn’t stop for an ambulance!?! Oh, that’s right, I’m still in Tucson. Crud! So much for Yoga Zen Driving.
